


The Clap Trap

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: The Story of Us [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Humor, Pre-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-24 23:27:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Is his umbrella really big or on the small side?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Clap Trap

**Author's Note:**

> This universe has taken over my life a little bit. I’m just glad I can still write.

“Good evening, Cadet.”

“Oh my God,” Erin gripped her chest, quickly turning around. She grabbed the strap of her messenger bag to keep it from falling on the ground. He saw it falling, making a quick move to save it as well. The bag ended up on her shoulder and in his hands. Clearing her throat, Erin back away from him. “You startled me.”

“That wasn’t my intent.” Dave Rossi shook his head. “That’s a heavy bag, Cadet. Did you steal books from the library?”

“They have this brilliant system where they actually let us borrow them.”

“I probably should’ve come here more in my cadet days.”

“I can't figure you out.” Erin glanced back at him. “I'm not sure if you really sailed through or if you worked harder than everyone else.”

“I think being an enigma has its advantages.” Dave said.

“I've been in the library for three hours. It wasn’t raining when I went in. Rain wasn’t even in the forecast today.”

“Welcome to the DC Corridor.”

“I took my umbrella out of my bag before leaving the dorm.” She said. “One more ounce and the strap would surely snap. This bag got through Chapin, Barnard, and the City College of New York. It’s going to get through the FBI Academy.”

“If that bag could talk I bet it'd be full of interesting stories about you.” 

“If this bag could talk…I’d shoot it.”

“I hear you're third in your class on the range.” Dave said. He yearned to reach out and touch her, to have her look at him. He knew why she wasn’t but that didn’t mean Dave had to like it. One tipsy kiss was all they shared and then Erin avoided him like the plague. He hadn’t even meant to kiss her that night. Cheeky women were a weakness.

“You say that as if it’s something to brag about.” She said.

“You're third out of 574, Erin. Ask #573 if it’s something to brag about.”

“For better or worse, I'm an overachiever. I strive to be the best and I usually am. Plenty has been sacrificed for the choices I make.”

“Your work here hasn’t gone unnoticed. Your fan club is growing.”

“Are you a member, Agent Rossi?” Erin glanced back again but that’s all she could manage. Every time she looked at his face, it was over. He brought out the flirty, sexy monster in her. Nothing would happen out there tonight, a million eyes were watching, but it wasn’t easy to put that monster back in the cage. Maybe Erin would do the slow walk back to her dorm. She suddenly needed a cold shower.

“The truth is that I found your debut to be strong, inspired; it'll be talked about for ages. The jury is still out on the follow up.”

“Where do you come up with these things?” she asked.

“It’s a gift.” Rossi replied.

“Mmm, I see.”

“I have a pretty big umbrella. I don’t mind walking you back to your dorm. You could catch a cold in this weather. That wouldn’t be ideal in the final stretch.”

“I think I'm just going to sit on one of these benches and have a cigarette. Perhaps by the time I'm done…”

“You’ve been inside the library for hours. The rain started this hard and hasn’t stopped.” Dave said.

“I really just need a cigarette.”

Erin went over to one of the benches, protected from the rain, and sat down. The sigh of relief when she slid the messenger bag off her shoulder was audible. Sitting the brown leather satchel between her khakied legs, Erin unsnapped the front flap. She rummaged around for a while and finally emerged with a crumpled box of Parliament Lights.

“Cigarette?” she asked.

“I'm good.” Dave leaned against a pillar close to her and crossed his arms.

He knew it was in his best interest to walk away. This woman could get him in so much trouble without even trying. Trouble was David Rossi’s middle name. Usually he ran right to it...loved the adrenaline rush of adventure. 

With Erin Strauss it was different. He wasn’t afraid of danger or of getting caught. No doubt they were both intelligent and would be discreet. Dave was worried about falling down a rabbit hole that even he couldn’t climb out of. 

Erin Strauss would be the death of him, he was sure. Yet he couldn’t just cut his losses. Death was inevitable. It was best to live hard before it came to claim you.

“Can I ask you something, Agent Rossi?” Erin lit up and leaned against the concrete wall. She’d been awake for 14 hours and this was probably the first rest she’d had all day. It wouldn’t last long.

“You can call me Dave when we’re alone if you want.”

“We’re not alone. There are lots of people around.”

“We can be alone if that would be better for you.” That wasn’t supposed to come out of his mouth, but it had. Dave finished it up with a killer grin.

“All I want is to ask a question.”

“What do you want to know?”

“There's a month of training left. Is there any truth to the rumors that six cadets are going to be selected for early field work?”

“Probably.” He nodded. “It’s been done in the past.”

“But you don’t know for sure?”

“I don’t. I'm not in Administration around here; I just teach and work. I can say, from experience, that no amount of classroom hours and training can prepare the cadets for what’s out there. It’s helpful, and some get more out of it than others. But the field is where it’s at.”

Erin nodded, quietly smoking her cigarette. She listened to the rain and the sound of David Rossi breathing.

“If you walked me back to my dorm it wouldn’t be too far out of your way?” she asked.

“That’s inconsequential. I don’t mind doing it.”

“I appreciate it.”

“I will as well, Erin.”

She finished most of the cigarette and crushed the rest under her sneaker. Standing, Erin put the bag back on her shoulder. Dave opened his large umbrella and they started walking back to the women’s dormitory. It wasn’t that far but it was a much better thing to do dry.

“I’d like to take you to dinner.” He said.

“Fraternization between cadets and agents is strictly forbidden. It’s an act punishable by expulsion of the cadet and written censure of the agent.”

“Did you read that in the manual?”

“Yes.” Erin nodded.

“In four weeks you won't be a cadet anymore. Social interaction amongst colleagues is not only permissible but encouraged.”

“I'm seeing someone. That’s enough social interaction for me right now.”

“I hope he knows how lucky he is. Does he know that we kissed?” Dave asked.

“Whatever you think might happen between us, Agent Rossi, isn’t going to happen. I have little doubt you can show a woman a good time. I just don’t think you're the kind of person I need in my life right now.”

“I don’t know whether to be offended or…no, just offended.”

“I should be offended.” Erin said. “I actually love food and don’t appreciate it being used as a euphemism for sex. If you want to fuck me, just say so.”

“You’ve got a dirty mouth. I like the fact that I had no idea until just this moment. What else are you hiding under those khakis, Erin Strauss?”

“My mouth isn’t under my khakis.” She pointed at him. “Don’t you dare say it!”

Dave just laughed. Erin did her best to keep the smile off her face but failed. She looked at him, he was looking back, and this time she didn’t look away.

“It’s just not a good idea. It’s a horrible idea as a matter of fact.”

“I want to take you to dinner when you graduate.” Dave said. “I'm not trying to get you in bed, I just happen to like listening to you talk. It’s been a while since someone fascinated me. You fascinate me.”

How could she be sure if he was being truthful or playing a game? Erin couldn’t be sure and while that was supposed to be a major red flag, it just made him more attractive. There was no way she could stay in control if she ever said yes to David Rossi. Walking up to her dorm saved her from having to take the conversation any further.

“Thanks for the walk, Agent Rossi; goodnight.”

“Goodnight Erin.”

“And I’ll think about it.” She said.

With one more glance, she walked into her dorm and left him standing in the rain. Erin would make sure from that day forward to always have an umbrella in her bag.

***

“Someone named Mark called.” Erin’s roommate Elaine was preparing to leave as she came in. “He said to give him a call back later if you can. Oh hey Blake.”

“What?” Erin turned when she heard a name that wasn’t her own. She was hardly paying attention to Elaine but that’s because she was exhausted. She wasn’t a bad roommate as being forced to live a dormitory lifestyle in your mid-20s went. Erin smiled when she saw Alex. “Hey.”

“You're dry.” Alex said.

“Um…”

“It’s pouring out there.”

“I'm leaving guys.” Elaine said.

They both said goodnight; Erin didn’t speak again until Alex closed the door. She fell over on the bed as her best friend sat at the desk.

“David Rossi walked me home.” She mumbled with her face in the pillow.

“It’s been a while since you’ve seen him.” Alex said.

“I didn’t seek him out. I was standing in front of the library cursing life and the damn umbrella I left back here when he walked up. I almost declined but after the day I had I would’ve only made it halfway home. Some cadet would’ve surely found me on the quad tomorrow morning drowned.”

“Is his umbrella really big or on the small side?”

“It’s fuckin gigantic.” Erin smirked as she turned over and looked at the ceiling. “I'm probably going to bed in like a half hour. All I need is a Yorkshire terrier and a cocktail; I'm becoming my Aunt Constance.”

“You're not going to be so tired when they're not working us to the bone.” Alex said. “I think as it winds down we’re all pretty beat.”

“And what comes next, ten or twenty years of 12 hour days. I can't wait.”

“Why are you so dark and twisty tonight?”

“Why are you so chipper?” Erin retorted. “What's going on?”

“I wouldn’t say that I'm so chipper but there are some things going on. Messina and Pender are out and the rumor is that they're pregnant.”

“Oh God,” Erin covered her eyes with her arm. “Would that even be the rumor if they didn’t have vaginas?”

“Well it gets better…I guess.” Alex said. “Apparently there have been some issues at the health center over the past few weeks. We may have a clap epidemic on campus.”

“I'm sorry, what?” she lifted her arm, squinting to see Alex.

“Someone is passing around STDs like Halloween candy. It lends to the pregnancy story. If only to show that too many people are sleeping together. Have you slept with any of these guys?”

“They wish. Is testing required? Surely those who have it are going to be penalized. God forbid you stick 574 people of any sex into a small space and not expect them to go at it like bunnies. And the sexual harassment and intimidation can be creepy as hell. I loathe to think about what some of these pricks will be like when they actually get a little power and a gun to back them up. Have you?”

“Have I what?” Alex asked.

“Have you slept with any of these guys?”

“No.” she shook her head. “I’d rather be celibate thanks.”

“Have you slept with any of these girls?” Erin grinned as she sat up on her elbows. “Alex Blake, you better not be keeping hot lesbian sex from me.”

“I'm bisexual, not lesbian. And I am not going to give you fodder for your heteronormative wet dreams.”

“You sounded really sexy when you said that.”

“Thanks.” Alex smiled.

“Give it up; who was it? I want fodder. I want it, I want it, I want it!”

“Carolyn Dunlap, OK. Are you happy?”

“Is she the cute black girl who lives upstairs or the pale girl with the freckles who you run with sometimes?” Erin asked.

“Cute black girl.”

“Nice…she is totally cute. Anyone else?”

“No.” She shook her head.

“That’s a vicious lie, Alex, and that’s not like you at all.”

“All I can say is that I don’t have the clap. I'm too busy for random hookups. I'm working on this final paper about the future of linguistics in law enforcement as modes of communication change. Were you working on yours at the library tonight?”

“Yeah.” Erin nodded. “I'm doing advances in computer technology and the need to solve open cases. I think I have paper cuts from all the card cataloging I did. Let’s hope these computers catch up quick. Do you think they’ll test everyone for the clap? I can't even imagine the cost of something like that.”

“Testing is voluntary right now,” Alex replied. “But I don’t think that’s going to last for long. I heard that on Friday morning they're going to crowd us all into the auditorium for a talk. That’s going to be excruciating.”

“Oh God, yes. I need to get some sleep…this day has been longer than I ever want a day to be.”

“What happened with you and Dave Rossi?”

“Nothing.” Erin shook her head. “I swear to God we didn’t even touch. It’s just a crush; nothing is going to come of it. Anyway, he knows that I'm seeing someone now. And I’d like to call him before I pass out.”

Stifling a yawn, Erin sat up and swung her feet onto the floor. She wasn’t even going to have the energy to shower tonight. It was phone call, straight to bed, and hopefully sleeping through the night. Who knew what time Elaine would be back? She might have to put in her earplugs.

“I've got more reading to do.” Alex stood up. “And _Dynasty_ is on at 10. A bunch of us are going to watch it in the lounge.”

“Shit, I'm missing _Dynasty_? The world is unfair in so many ways.”

“I’ll tell you all about it in the morning.” Alex tapped her head. “I have a memory like a steel trap. Do you want me to knock for breakfast?”

“If you don’t, I’ll sleep through it. Knock hard, OK, I think I'm going to sleep in my earplugs.”

“You got it. Goodnight, Erin.”

“Goodnight.”

Alex left and closed the door behind her. Erin made her way off the bed, walking across the room to lock it. Then she grabbed the telephone. In a matter of moments she was back on the bed. Lying on her side, Erin put the phone up to her ear and used the other to dial Mark’s number. 

She felt drowsy as the phone rang. Erin hoped that she wouldn’t have to leave a message. They hadn’t talked in two days. She and Mark said they would take it slow, be more casual than anything. Erin missed him anyway.

“Hello.”

“Hey there.” She smiled.

“You sound tired.”

“And I'm missing _Dynasty_.” Erin said.

“Some people might not understand what a national tragedy that is.” Mark said.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“A little.” He laughed. “You do sound tired though.”

“Please don’t be upset if I fall asleep on you. It’s been a long day.”

“I would much rather you fall asleep on me in person.” He said.

“I might be able to make that a reality on Saturday night.” Erin said. “How was your day?”

“I'm still working.”

“I called you at home.”

“I know…I brought some files home from the office. The senior Senator is making public appearances next week and he’s going to be on David Brinkley on Sunday morning. That’s a big deal. I'm working with the Communications Director via telephone. Well, I was.”

“So you get to write sound bites and I may have to endure a Gonorrhea test?”

“I'm sorry, what?”

“Apparently there is a clap epidemic on campus.” Erin said.

“Pleasant.”

“That’s what I'm saying. I'm glad we got to talk tonight.”

“So am I.” Mark said. “I did get your message the other night. Sorry that I fell asleep before calling you back. We can relax on Saturday night if you want. I was thinking about a night out but I think a night in might be better for both of us.”

“I think you just want to get me out of my clothes.”

“You are quite relaxed while naked. That’s science and you can't really argue with science.”

Erin knew he was smiling when he said it and that made her smile. Instead of being worried about what that meant, she was just going to enjoy every moment. It would probably be a nicer moment if she could kiss him goodnight.

“I should go to bed now.” Erin said.

“Goodnight my little Weiner Schnitzel.”

“You are strange.” She laughed. “You pretend to be normal to the outside world but you are strange, Mark Cramer.”

“It’s important to me to be with someone who clearly recognizes that.”

“I’ll see you on Saturday.”

“I hope we can talk before then.” He said.

“We’ll see. I can call and leave a message if I get in too late. Sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight, Erin.”

She hung up and climbed out of the bed. Usually neat and clean, Erin quickly shed her clothes and kicked them over to her closet. She threw on some shorts and a tee shirt from her top drawer. After double checking the bedroom door lock, she brushed her hair, pulled it up into a messy bun, and turned out the light. 

She let her eyes adjust for a moment to the darkness. Erin hated the dormitory beds, they were worse than the ones in hospitals. She’d been lucky enough to only have two hospital stays in her life. It was Month 5 of sleeping on this lumpy sack. 

Tonight she didn’t even care. Cracking the window to hear the rain fall, Erin pulled the blankets up to her chin. So many nights sleep could be her worst enemy. Tonight she planned to make it a dear friend.

***


End file.
